The Gift of Insult

A great Samurai warrior, now old, had decided to teach Zen Buddhism to young people. Despite his age, the legend was that he could defeat any adversary.

One afternoon, a young warrior – known for his complete lack of scruples – arrived there. He was famous for using provocation techniques: he waited until his adversary made the first move and then swiftly counterattacked, skillfully taking advantage of any slightest mistake his adversary made. He had never lost a fight. Hearing of the Samurai’s reputation, he had come to defeat him in order to increase his fame. All the students were against the idea, but the old master accepted the challenge.

All gathered in the town square, and the young man insulted the old master. He threw a few rocks in his direction, spat in his face, shouted every insult under the sun – he even insulted his ancestors. For hours, he did everything to provoke him, but the old man kept smiling and remained impassive. At the end of the afternoon, the young warrior left after feeling exhausted and humiliated.

Disappointed that the master had received so many insults and provocations, the students asked: “How could you bear such indignity? Why didn’t you use your sword, even if you might lose the fight, instead of displaying such cowardice in front of us all?”

“If someone comes to you with a gift, and you do not accept it, to whom does the gift belong?” asked the Samurai. “To the one who tried to deliver it,” replied one of his disciples. “The same goes for envy, anger and insults,” said the master. “When they are not accepted, they continue to belong to the one who brought them.”

The moral of this story is a powerful reminder of the value of self-control and emotional resilience. The old Samurai’s wisdom shows that not every provocation or insult needs to be answered; in fact, choosing not to respond often holds greater strength than reacting with anger. By refusing to engage with the young warrior’s insults, the Samurai demonstrated a profound level of inner peace, showing that others’ opinions or provocations do not determine our sense of self-worth. This story teaches that true strength comes from within and that our peace is ours to protect, regardless of how others try to disrupt it.

If you want to implement this, you can start by practicing mindfulness during challenging interactions. When someone provokes you, take a moment to breathe deeply and observe your feelings without immediately reacting. This practice helps create a space where you can choose a response that aligns with your values instead of being driven by the heat of the moment. Another approach is to set boundaries by consciously deciding what feedback or criticism you will accept from others. By evaluating whether the message truly adds value or is merely a means to provoke, you can choose to let unconstructive comments stay with the one who made them, just as the Samurai did. This way, you maintain your emotional balance and stay focused on your path.

Be Well.
Paul
The Gratitude Guru

(Note: This post was updated and recently revised from its original post.)