You Can Do It – Understanding and Overcoming Low Self-Esteem

laughing_iguana_smLow self-esteem can often be traced back to childhood. For those who had a difficult upbringing or suffered through a traumatic event, low self-esteem is fairly common. However, it’s possible to develop self-esteem issues in adulthood as well.

When someone has have low self esteem, feel gratitude can be difficult.

When you go through a difficult time, it can affect the way you see yourself. For example, if you are unemployed, go through a divorce, or file bankruptcy, you may internalize these negative experiences and believe that it’s your fault and that you caused these bad things to happen.

Even though these negative things occur, you can still feel grateful. This is not to say that you should just ignore them, just try to be optimistic and realize that there is some silver lining in the situation. Your job is to find out what you can be grateful for.

One of the best ways is to overcome low self-esteem in the first place!

Learn about the steps you can take to overcome low self-esteem:

  1. Surround yourself with positive people and remove the negative ones from your life. Spending time with those who are negative will only reinforce your low opinion of yourself. It’s better to surround yourself with individuals who are supportive and encouraging.
  • If you’re fortunate enough to have positive influences in your life, listen to them when they say you’ve done a good job.
  • Avoid ignoring compliments because you feel unworthy. If you were undeserving of the praise, you wouldn’t be getting it.

 

  1. Avoid telling yourself you “should have,” “could have,” or “would have.” If you’re constantly telling yourself “I could have done this,” or “I should have done that,” you’re focusing on things that have already happened and that you’re unable to change.
  • It’s better to look to the future and say, “Next time I’ll do this,” or “I’m going to do that.”

 

  1. Set reasonable expectations. Accept that human beings make mistakes. If you’re unwilling to accept anything less than perfection from yourself, you’ll feel completely discouraged when you inevitably make a mistake.
  • Avoid letting mistakes get you down. Remember that every mistake you make is a chance to learn and grow.

 

  1. Recognize and celebrate your accomplishments. If your self-esteem is lacking, you might spend a lot of time focusing on the negative. Acknowledge your accomplishments and allow yourself to be happy. It’s okay to be proud of yourself.

 

  1. Volunteer for a charitable organization. Working to help others will make you feel good about yourself and help boost your self-esteem.
  • It’s difficult to have a poor opinion of yourself when you’re supporting a good cause.

 

  1. Make a list of all your best qualities. Get a pen and paper and write down your strengths, skills, talents, and positive personality traits.
  • When people have low self-esteem, they often focus on all of the things they dislike about themselves. Taking some time to focus on your good qualities can have a very positive effect.

 

  1. Consider seeking professional help. In more extreme cases, low self-esteem can have a negative impact on a person’s life and mental health.
  • A person with very low self-esteem may have issues in their relationships, trouble in their careers, or a number of other challenges. Sometimes esteem issues can lead to anxiety, social withdrawal, depression, or even suicide.
  • If low self-esteem is causing chaos in your work and personal life, you may want to consider seeing a therapist for additional help. They can provide you with additional strategies for increasing your self-esteem. A therapist may even be able to help you deal with the underlying issues that caused your low self-esteem in the first place.

There are many factors which can cause or contribute to low self-esteem. The key is to figure out how to overcome your low self-esteem and start feeling good about yourself again.

Unlock Your Potential by Overcoming Your Limitations

fenceDo you put limitations on yourself and then feel like you’re unable to accomplish your goals? A limiting mindset may stem from a difficult childhood, low self-esteem, or past failures.

Despite your specific reason, it all boils down to fear. It could be the fear of rejection or of failing again. It could also be because you’re afraid of not being good enough. When you have thoughts like these, it can sometimes be difficult to feel grateful.

Unlock your potential and overcome your limitations, and feel more gratitude with these tips:

  1. Embrace your limitations. You’ll likely encounter someone smarter, stronger, or better looking during your life. Realize that even if you’re not the best at something, you can still be very successful, as long as you make an effort. Be grateful that there are others that can do a better job and look to them for inspiration or even assistance when you need it!
  • Avoid letting a fear of inadequacy stop you from trying. It’s okay if you try and fail. Failing to try is the only true failure. Each failure brings you closer to success.

 

  1. Work a little harder. If you’re less than stellar at something, you can compensate by working even harder.
  • Thomas Edison once said, “Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.” Even coming up with a great idea for a new invention is more about hard work than about being brilliant. Lots of people have unique ideas, but it takes someone who’s willing to put in the extra effort to make it successful.
  • Avoid letting fear hold you back. Just get to work and hope for the best.
  • Remember how you felt the last time you worked hard? You were grateful at the end of it, weren’t you? Go for that same satisfied feeling again!

 

  1. Set goals. Before you get in your car and turn on the ignition, you have a destination in mind. Accomplishing things in life can be the same way. Have a clear understanding of where you want to go and then you can figure out how to get there.
  • Set realistic goals, but be willing to step out of your comfort zone. It can be very discouraging if your goals are impossible to achieve. Make your goals challenging, yet attainable.
  • If your goals are too easy, you won’t feel a sense of accomplishment or any motivation to push yourself towards them.

 

  1. Find a coach. Every athlete who succeeds in sports owes a lot of credit to their coaches. Coaches help take players to places they would be unable to get to by themselves. It isn’t only athletes that can benefit from coaching. You can talk to career coaches, life coaches, or someone else who can help you achieve success.

 

  1. Understand the limitations of your mindset. Sometimes things seem impossible for us, only because that’s what we believe them to be.
  • As an example, let’s take the story of Roger Bannister. Roger Bannister is the first person to ever run a mile in less than 4 minutes. He did it on May 6, 1954, and before that day, many believed that his accomplishment wasn’t humanly possible.
  • Many gifted athletes had come incredibly close, but nobody did it before Roger Bannister. However, once that barrier was broken it became possible in people’s minds.
  • The year after Roger Bannister ran his 4 minute mile, 37 other runners were also able to accomplish the same feat. The year after that, 300 runners were able to run a mile in under 4 minutes.
  • It’s not that these runners weren’t physically capable of doing this before. It’s just that all of them now believed it was possible.

 

Do you have things in your life that are holding you back? If so, it could be because you have set limitations in your mind. Isn’t it time to open your mind and overcome those limitations? Unlock your potential, starting today!

Leave a comment below and share what your toughest limittion is that is holding you back.

Being Authentic

authenticHave there been times in your life when you felt you weren’t acting like your true self? Maybe you were unsure of a situation or were lacking the confidence to reveal who you truly are.

Whatever your reason, you chose to hide your real self. Personal concealment places us into an emotionally unhealthy cycle. First, we feel unsure of ourselves and this causes us to act even less authentic in the future. We may even begin to wonder, “Who am I?”

Rather than spending time hiding from the world, you’ll flourish by revealing your true self to others. Becoming more authentic in your interactions is definitely possible.

Commit to increasing your personal authenticity in these ways:

  1. Monitor your feelings closely. When you know and understand your own emotions, you’ll be less likely to behave in ways that contrast with your feelings.
  • Mindfulness will help you tremendously in your quest to be more authentic.
  • Stay in the moment and consider what is going on in your world in the present.

 

  1. Give yourself time. If something happens and you’re unsure of how to react or respond, it’s okay to not react at all. Allow yourself some moments to consider the situation.
  • If you feel pressure to respond, saying something like, “I’m not sure how to respond to that,” can be your best line of action until you’re more confident in your reaction.

 

  1. Catch yourself being inauthentic. When you realize you’ve been less than honest in a given situation, it’s okay to say, “Wait a minute. I changed my mind,” or “Maybe I’m not as sure about this as I thought.”
  • Remind yourself that you have permission to alter your response to anyone and anything at any time. Then, choose a route that’s more in line with how you honestly feel.

 

  1. Notice what situations prompt you to be disingenuous. Being insincere or untruthful each time you’re around your in-laws or your supervisor, for example, will reveal where your insecurities lie.
  • Do some self-reflection to determine why you’re behaving this way around that person or in that particular situation.

 

  1. Be authentic with others to increase your level of confidence. The ability to be open and honest shows that you like and accept yourself and you’re self-assured. Avoid being afraid or too timid to show others who you really are. Self-confidence goes a long way!

 

  1. Realize that others truly appreciate you when you’re authentic in behavior and comments. Think about how you feel when you’re with someone who’s consistently open with you. It feels comfortable and easy to be with someone you know you can trust. There’s no tension or guesswork involved.
  • If you keep this information in mind, you may find it a little easier to be authentic.

 

  1. Show care and gentleness toward others. You might be thinking, “What’s the connection between being caring and being authentic?” If you go out of your way to be polite and kind to others, it will be a natural response to be authentic with them.
  • Once you realize that you hold their feelings in your hands, you’ll know it’s necessary to be gentle and honest with others.

 

When you expend a little bit of effort on relating to others truthfully and carefully, you’ll gradually find that you like yourself more. When you offer authenticity to others, it sets a wonderful example for those around you. The more authentic you are, the richer the life you’ll live.

Gratitude: A Way of Life

Gratitude: A Way of LifeGratitude: A Way of Life by Louise L. Hay

Looking for an easy read dealing with Gratitude? Here is a great resource that you can pick up and enjoy! Written back in 1996, it is still as important today as it was originally!

“I have noticed that the Universe love gratitude. The more grateful you are, the more goodies you get. When I say ‘goodies,’ I don’t mean only material things. I mean all the people, places, and  experiences that make life so wonderfully worth living.” So starts out, Gratitude by Louise L. Hay.

Louise Hay has once again created a great little book that is paced with fabulous content dealing with being grateful.  This book contains insights of some of the most wonderful teachers and writers who have demonstrated the power of gratitude in their own lives. This is a very good resource in which healing professionals have written essays that read easily and flow nicely.

A common theme throughout the book is to remember to be grateful on a consistent basis; show your thanks every day. With 336 pages of wonderful material, you will certainly feel the thanks coming out of you as you read each of the stories that were written by others and compiled by Ms. Hay.

Read more about Gratitude here

Gratitude: A Way of Life

People: A Reason, A Season, or a Lifetime

friends_smPeople come and go in our lives. There is a reason each person that touches your life. You may not realize it initially, and sometimes you never learn the exact reason.

When people come and go, it may hurt. You may not want to see them leave. Letting go can be very difficult for you at the time it is happening. The best thing you can do is share your love for them and wish them well.

On the other hand, some people stick around in your life. They become the fabric of your being. Enjoy them for who they are even if this people is NOT someone you feel warm towards! There is a reason for these people in your life as well.

You will get yourself into trouble when you attempt to figure this sort of thing out. Accept and love; that is the secret. Accept people for who they are and love them regardless. Love them if they come and stay in your life. Love them if they are only a brief passing. Love them if they are around for a few years.

After all, without joy, love, and gratitude in your life, what else is there?

Here is a great poem that exemplifies this whole concept.

People come into your path for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do with that person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty…
To provide you with guidance and support…
To aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually…
They may seem like they are a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die…
Sometimes they walk away…
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand….
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled…
Their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has now been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON.
Because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons.
Things you must build upon to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind, but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being a part of my life…
Whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime

~ unknown author